


Just Pretentious Enough

by Deenerann



Series: Schitt's Creek Musings [1]
Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-29
Updated: 2020-01-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:34:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22456564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deenerann/pseuds/Deenerann
Summary: Patrick meets David for the first time and has a bit of an internal meltdown.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Series: Schitt's Creek Musings [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1615900
Comments: 12
Kudos: 196





	Just Pretentious Enough

**Author's Note:**

> So, I finally binged this show and am completely obsessed with this relationship. I wanted to write from Patrick's viewpoint because we never completely know what's going on in his head, but you know it's a lot of overwhelming feelings for David. I just wanted to put that into words.

Patrick sat at his desk, attempting to watch Ray pose the couple in front of him in what could only be described as a very inventive and strangely horrifying position. In reality, though, his brain and heart raced at a million miles a minute, trying to process what the hell had just happened.

When Ray called out number B13, Patrick had not expected to turn the corner and come face to face with the most gorgeous creature he’d ever laid eyes on. His brain misfired and he swore there was some sort of audible record-scratch in his eardrums. He was surprised he managed to say something semi-coherent, even if it _was_ only his name.

When the vision in front of him introduced himself as David, everything fell into place. Of course, David _Rose_. Patrick didn’t know what he’d been expecting when he saw Ray’s schedule for the day, but the overwhelming man standing in front of him had _not_ been it.

He’d had been tempted to google David earlier, but got side-tracked before the appointment and never found the time. Maybe if he had, he’d have been more prepared for the reaction his entire _soul_ apparently had when he turned that corner and saw him standing there.

Patrick didn’t remember too many of the finer details from his days at Rose Video—it was pre-internet, after all—but if David had been in any of the promotional material sent around to the stores, there was absolutely no way Patrick would have forgotten a single thing about him—David was a goddamn _presence_.

His clothes were way more stylish than Patrick was used to seeing around town—usually the residents he dealt on a daily basis with were more about flannel and less about monochrome and a very expensive looking sweater that Patrick wanted to touch…just to see if it was as soft as it seemed.

Patrick shook his head and scrubbed his face with his hands. Why the hell was he imagining how soft David’s sweater was? He literally just met the man. He also wasn’t exactly sure of what to do with all the unsettling feelings bouncing around his body. They were completely unwarranted.

It’s just—it was like something suddenly clicked into place when his gaze connected with David’s—everything inside him went liquid, sighed, and whispered, “Oh. _There_ he is.”

It put Patrick so off his game that he spent the entire exchange grinning like an idiot and actually trying to flirt—which either his flirting game was _really_ bad, or David was completely oblivious—but either way, David seemed unimpressed and a little annoyed with the whole conversation.

Patrick was pretty sure his hands shook when he handed David his card, and he fully expected it to have been tossed in the trash by now, but Patrick was damn sure he’d find a way to be in the office when David came back with his paperwork—even if he had to pour over Ray’s schedule every single morning to find out when that was. He just wanted to see him again and see if his body reacted to him the same way. Maybe it was a just fluke thing—something borne by the surprise of seeing someone like David standing in Ray’s living room.

Patrick had always had been low-key attracted to guys, even when he was dating Rachel. He did his best to ignore it, and mostly that tactic worked. Even if nothing in his past relationship ever felt right, attractions were just attractions—nothing to act on, and definitely nothing so massive and urgent that he wasn’t able to push it aside to live the life everyone expected of him. Before today, Patrick assumed he’d never experience the lightning bolt, explosive pull of awareness he’d always heard existed between some people.

But, one look at David and that lightning bolt nearly knocked him off his feet. He had absolutely no idea what to do with the completely unexpected response to someone he didn’t even _know_ —and probably would _never_ know, if today’s conversation was any indication.

He scrubbed his face again and stood up, the scraping of his chair startling the couple perched in another strange position in the living room. The woman wobbled slightly from her spot kneeling on the man’s shoulders. Patrick watched in horror, waiting for the crash. She somehow managed to right herself without knocking the man unconscious with the cricket bat she held out like a weapon.

Patrick blew out the breath he’d been holding as his heartbeat began to slow down.

_Cricket_.

Shit. That made him think of David, which made his heartbeat pick up the pace again. He sucked in a shaky breath and tried to calm himself down.

Ray turned around and flashed Patrick an irritated grin. “Really, Patrick. If you’re going to be working here, you need to be a little more aware of your surroundings. Lots of things going on here. Lots of things.”

Patrick nodded. “Yep. I’m sorry. I’m just going to head out for a minute. Need a quick walk.” He escaped out the front door before Ray could pull him into a longer conversation.

The cool air helped. So did the extremely long walk around the neighborhood surrounding Ray’s house. Initially, Patrick was tempted to head into town and see if maybe someone (David—definitely David) was hanging out at the leased space. After a few steps toward the center of town, he managed to talk himself out of the potentially disastrous idea and turned to head in the opposite direction.

About an hour into the walk, Patrick felt his pockets and realized he’d left his phone on his desk back at Ray’s. Normally, he felt a little naked without it, but not having the temptation to google David was probably a good thing. He’d wind up walking into a telephone pole, or something. He 100% wanted to see David again, but had absolutely no idea how to go about that without looking like some sort of weird, potentially dangerous stalker.

Eventually, he headed back to Ray’s, feeling a little less jittery, but still out of sorts and unsure of what to do next. The house was quiet. Ray’s photography session had ended, and no one was about. Patrick walked over to his desk and grabbed his phone, glancing at the screen. There were six missed calls and voicemails from an unknown number. Probably some business thing Ray wanted him to handle.

Patrick punched play and put it on speaker.

“ _Hi David, it’s Patrick_.” The voice that haunted him over the last hour filled the room. There was a slight, uncomfortable pause before David started to talk again.

Patrick laughed out loud. Maybe David was just as flustered as he was over their meeting. A warm buzzing started up in his stomach, and he grinned as he listened to the rest of the message. The awkward, “Ciao!” at the end really got to him, and he snorted out loud.

Ray wandered into the room, smiling and eyeing Patrick with a curious expression. Patrick just shrugged and hit play on the next message. His constant grin was starting to make his face hurt, but he couldn’t help it. David left him six messages. _Six_!

Freaking amazing.

The soft voice came through the speaker again. “Hi, _Patrick_. Yeah, I think I—I think I called you David. Which that’s not— _that’s_ not your name.”

Yeah, David was _definitely_ flustered. Patrick’s grin grew larger. The rest of the message was just as awkward and ended abruptly in the middle of a word. It appeared that not only was David ridiculously hot, he was also kind of an adorable mess.

Ray laughed, but then turned and walked out the front door. Patrick looked after him, confused, and hit play on the next message.

“Yeah, the text cut us off.” David sounded both annoyed and embarrassed.

Patrick winced. He almost felt bad for the guy, but he was way too entertained and happy to do anything but listen to all the messages with a big, goofy smile on his face. Then he listened to them again…and then again for good measure. That time he took notes.

Despite the vagueness of their initial conversation, David actually had a pretty solid plan. Impressed, Patrick wanted to hear all about it—since what he’d heard so far was pretty freaking ingenious. The warm buzz pinging around Patrick’s stomach for the last twenty minutes started to evolve into a slow, heavy burn. How was it possible that someone could be so hot, so adorable, and apparently so _smart_ at the same time?

Patrick stared at his notes and grabbed a clean form, starting to fill it in.

He had an idea.

* * *

A few hours later, Patrick stood over the table in the dining room and tried to focus on some paperwork he should have done earlier. He needed to get away from his desk and his phone because he kept resisting the overwhelming urge to listen to all of David’s messages one more time. It was one thing to listen to them in the privacy of his room (which he fully intended to do later), but it was another to listen to them again with Ray lurking about. He didn’t want to have to explain why he was so interested in those calls to his overly-curious roommate. Last thing he needed was the news of his apparent insta-crush making its way through the gossip tree in town.

“Hi.”

The soft voice behind him made him jump and he whirled to find David standing behind him, holding a piece of paper and looking completely unsure of himself.

“Um, so I messed up my form, and I’m going to need another…form from you.”

Patrick tried to keep his face impassive, but the reaction his body had earlier to David was definitely _not_ a fluke. Holy crap. The slow burn flared into some kind of inferno and Patrick forced himself to breathe normally.

“Oh, okay.”

He grabbed the paper David tentatively handed to him, glancing down to see it covered in neat handwriting and a _lot_ of scratched out areas.

He glanced back up at David and did his best to tame the smile radiating throughout his entire body.

“What?” David sounded defensive.

Patrick didn’t blame him—he probably looked crazed. “Nothing. I’m just, uh, I’m so glad you made such good use of my business card.” He moved around David to head toward his desk. The faint scent of some kind of cologne David wore surrounded him as he passed by, and Patrick’s stomach clenched with what was definitely a sudden flash of very intense, very hot lust. “Sorry, I didn’t pick up. I was…at a thing,” he lied, trying to sort out an emotion he never really had before—at least not to the extent he just experienced.

He’d examine _that_ feeling later—probably while listening to the voicemails again.

“Well, it’s best you didn’t.” David response was both flippant and mortified, which just made him more endearing.

“But, I got all your messages,” Patrick continued, enjoying the horror that overtook David’s expression.

God, he was so cute.

“Ah…so you just listened to the first one and erased the rest?” David asked hopefully while shaking his head.

“No, no, I listened to all of them. I kinda had to to piece them all together. Actually, I played them for a few friends of mine. I was at a birthday party, so there were a lot of people weighing in.”

David’s horrified expression grew even more horrified.

Patrick couldn’t keep from laughing. “I’m just kidding. I didn’t play them for anybody.”

Ray piped up from behind them, his voice amused. “I thought the first few were very humorous, David. Then I lost interest.”

David whirled to look at Ray and then back to Patrick, his eyes enormous.

“I may have played them here on speaker phone,” Patrick admitted.

David was clearly not amused. “Uh, okay. Can I just get the paperwork, and then I can—“

“You know, the good thing about the messages was that I was able to get enough information to fill out your forms.” Patrick handed the folder to a clearly surprised David.

“Oh! I wish I could remember,” he deadpanned.

Patrick held in a laugh. “It’s a good idea, your business,” he admitted. “Rebranding local products and crafts. It’s very inventive.”

David looked up from the paperwork, his eyes widening in what Patrick hoped was pleasure. “Thanks.”

“I like the name. Rose Apothecary. You know, it’s just pretentious enough.”

David scowled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Would we call that pretentious or… timeless?”

Patrick bit his lip and tried to keep from grinning. David was absolutely adorable. “So, I’ll call you when I hear something.” He should have left it at that, but he couldn’t help himself, adding, “And hey, if I don’t get ahold of you, I’ll just uh… leave a message.”

David squinted at him and dimples briefly appeared on his cheeks before they disappeared just as quick. He had _dimples_. Patrick’s knees went a little weak.

“Ok, thanks.” David’s voice was pure sarcasm.

Patrick was pretty sure David was just masking his embarrassment, which only made him cuter.

“Ciao!” Ray chirped behind them.

David looked even more horrified, and whirled around to leave the house without another word.

Patrick stared after him, the confusion from earlier expanding into absolute certainty.

Yeah. He was going to find a way to spend a _lot_ more time with that man.

He just needed to figure out how.


End file.
